Life is easier when you try your best to look on the brighter side.
Hello Sunshine! After my last post I hope you have taken some time to reflect on some of the obstacles you may have gone through in your life. If you have, did you try to find the positive in your own situation. I am a strong believer in everything happens for a reason, when it's suppose to and how it's suppose to. At times it may seem very hard to look on the bright side and it may take some practice but it's worth the reward. It takes practice because it's not like one day you wake up and say you know what, things weren't that bad, okay... I'm good. It takes practice because you have to defeat the A.N.T.s (Automatic Negative Thoughts). When you aren't trying to get past A.N.T.s then you are remembering and reflecting and really searching for a positive reason as to why you had your situation. Reflecting on your past alone could take a long time, and everyone is different depending on their situation.
For me it took many years, when I was a teen I didn't think much of my past, but as I got older I would think about it. I would think about how I had little guidance and I was always one step behind from the crowd. I worked at a bank with people almost TEN yrs younger than me and they knew more about finances than I did, that was hard for me at that time in my life. That's when I really started to think why, why wasn't I given the chance to live to my full potential. Often times I would think, if I just had the guidance a child should have, then my capabilities would have been endless. I would reflect a lot on my childhood and how it made me who I was. Then I decided that it doesn't get to define me. I started to realize that looking back wasn't going to get me ahead. At that time in my life I decided that I was going to forgive my four parents, not for them, but for me. I decided that if i'm held back it's because I'm letting them (and my past) hold me back, and that's unacceptable for me. I had one very smart boss long ago who once told me "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent", a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt. Of course at that time I never heard that before (this was from when I was a teen at my first real job), but coming from him, it really stuck with me! I have been on a never ending evolving journey but I feel better about myself every step that I take! This is why I really stick to my new motto "One Step Behind, One Step Stronger". I am behind, but I am also stronger because I don't let anything hold me back and I fight to be better every day.
Aside from making a choice to push forward I am sure you'd like to know how I got one step stronger. The first step is to take care of your Mind.
Mind: I told myself that there is a positive to everything negative so the first step was to find the positive. My Positive take away was that my life, my journey made me stronger and more resilient. Had I not gone through all the things I did, who knows, maybe life would have been smooth sailing but I would have never learned valuable life lessons. Then I had to beat off the A.N.T.s when they crept up. Every time I had a "Why me" thought, or a "poor me", feeling I had to consciously put my thoughts back on track. The more you work on getting your thoughts back on track, the more it becomes a habit and then it becomes natural. The other important thing to do is, not be so hard on yourself. I use to always be hard on myself and sometimes it ended up in comparing yourself and that robs you from so much joy and it keeps you from loving you. It is okay to go through the process of your feelings, in fact its essential but it is equally important to work through it, and try to get past it.
1. Work on your mindset; this didn't happened to me, it happened for me.
2. Every negative thought that comes to mind, beat it off with a compliment or positive thought.
3. Be good to you and don't judge yourself or let others.
4. Process your feelings so that you can move forward without getting stuck behind, no matter how long that takes.
Body: Your body is effected by your stresses. You have to do the mental work so that the physical work, actually works. Stress can cause you to tense up and sometimes clench, this causes pain and tension in your body. Sometimes it can go beyond that, it can cause anxiety, depression, insomnia and so much more. For these effects caused by your challenges and your past I suggest seeing a professional, a therapist. Therapists help people work through their past and I will be the first to tell you, it is freeing. Where does coaching come in to play? Therapists work on the past, As a Holistic Life Coach I help you work through obstacles you may be going through now, helping you find the tools within yourself to get through growth and transitions now. It's also to give you the tools to sustain obstacles that may arise in the future.
1. Try to find a relaxing technique that works for you (not what others suggest but what works for you)
2. Again Process your thoughts and feelings so that it doesn't stick around to the point it's physically effecting you.
3. Reach out for help in any way you can so that you can relieve your stress.
Soul: Acceptance is really good for the soul. It allows you to acknowledge: yes, I went through a lot but it's okay because it made me who I am, and I am strong. This gives you peace within yourself, within your soul. After you have worked on your mind and on your body, this becomes the easiest part. Taking care of your soul, at this point is just you acknowledging how far you have come and being proud of who you are and where you are. This is the time that you reflect, not on your past, but on your journey through your transformation. It is important to give yourself that pat on the back, even if you are just starting out... the fact that you made the choice to move forward and work on being a stronger, better you is an accomplishment in itself. It's not easy to make the choice and do the work to better yourself. Now, if you are towards the end of your transformation and your journey I would love to hear how you did it and how you feel! It's a feeling you can only understand if you have done the work. It's so freeing.
1. Acceptance & Acknowledgement; that you have been through a lot but it made you who you are.
2. Don't be afraid to be proud of yourself and think about all the amazing qualities you possess.
3. Embrace your journey and share it (saying your accomplishments out loud feels so good and sometimes hearing it out loud helps you really hear what you have to say). If you like to write I strongly suggest your write down all you've accomplished!
It's also important to know that through your journey you are not alone! This is another one of my biggest phrases " You are not alone", because at times you may feel like the only person in the world that's behind in one way or another. Trust me, I have come across many people who feel behind and it's because of my journey I was able to make them feel comfortable, relaxed and reassured even a little less self conscious. Which is another reason why I am not sad about my past, it made me who I am and I am a person that can connect with others and help them through situations similar to mine. I get to help people know that they are not alone and at ANY age it's okay to feel behind because together we can get ahead! A quote that I made just this week was "Your struggles are like mountains, they lead you through paths that help you rise above". Another saying I created was " Don't worry about keeping up with everyone else, You were meant to stay behind, So that you could learn to get ahead". You see with all the struggles and things that should have weighed me down, taught me how to be wiser and for that I am actually thankful.
It is important that you know, that at any given moment there are ways to get help and move forward. Like the other quote "When there's a will there's a way", written by Pauline Kael. So, if you are wanting to work on your journey and your transformation but need a little help please check out my website Agapephilialifecoach.com and book a session. Also, I would love to hear about your journey if you are just needing someone to talk to, someone to support you and tell you how amazing you are doing because let's be honest when you are doing hard work like this, who doesn't like a pat on the back and a congratulations for being amazing, for being you?!
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog post and I hope you have found it useful and remember it may not be for you but could be useful to someone else, so sharing is caring. Thanks again and I hope you have a day as beautiful as you are!
© 2020 Copyright Agapephilia Holistic Life Coach/Lisamarie-Proudly created with Wix.com